#7: Why parents should let their kids fail with Special Education Specialist Cheryl Pankhurst
Welcome to today’s conversation with Cheryl Pankhurst. Cheryl is a Special Education Specialist and for the last 25 years her mission has been to support teenagers with any type of disability or social emotional challenge and help them navigate the often tricky path starting in grade 9 all the way to post-secondary opportunities. Cheryl’s mantra is "Kids do Well When They Can" and she goes out of her way to find out what’s hard for the children that don’t do well and that can’t meet expectations. Usually there are these little things that need to be tweaked and most of the problems fall away.
In this interview we talk about the difference between the public and the private school systems, about how the pandemic impacted kids’ social development. We discuss how teachers and parents can collaborate to lessen the stress for students and help them engage more.
My biggest takeaway from this conversation is that one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is to let them fail. In Cheryl’s opinion one of the most important skills kids need to learn is how to fail and how to come back from it. They need to realize that they are strong enough to figure it out. And they should always know that we’ve got their back.
Cheryl is currently in transition to coaching in the online space as well as creating a blog and launching a podcast - to share her own insights and experiences with others who may be going through similar struggles. Whether you're a Special Education student, a parent or teacher, or just someone navigating the twists and turns of life, she’s got your back!
Connect with Cheryl:
IG: Cherylpankhurst
FB: Cheryl Ann Pankhurst
Website, Blog and Podcast are launching soon!
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That was a great conversation. Here are the takeaways:
- Kids don't manipulate. They don't want to push your buttons. They do well when they can. When you see some type of misbehaviour it’s just a way for them to communicate to you that they can’t meet your expectations and they don’t know how to tell you that. Start with empathy, ask them what’s hard, problem solve together, tweak things a little and most of the problems will fall away.
- Show your kids you’ve got their back. Make sure they know that no matter what, they can come to you and they won’t be in trouble. There will be a conversation later but they should never be too scared to come home.
- Children need to learn how to fail. They know how to succeed and they have to know how to fail. When they fail they will realize that they are strong enough to figure it out and come back and do it again. It's not easy for parents to watch without intervening but it is a gift for the kids to let them fail and then build them up. Just say, “This was horrible! But look like what you did! You picked yourself up, and you moved forward. And you've got a whole team behind you who are there to support you."
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