#14: Parenting Through Adversity: Lessons in Courage and Mindfulness with Kristina Driscoll
Today I share an inspiring conversation with the lovely Kristina Driscoll from the "She's Brave" podcast where she helps women find their path to become brave, resilient and authentic. Kristina has learned how to be brave because she had to. Life has really thrown her some curveballs. She married her soulmate who was 24 years older than her and in 4 years they had their long-awaited child. Kristina’s husband was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's when their son was only 5 years old. She was the caregiver to them both for 12 years. In our conversation Kristina shares the unique lessons she had to learn as a mother and what she had to teach her son in order to be able to survive and thrive in this challenging situation.
Kristina emphasises the importance of living in the present, spending quality time with children, and seeking help and building a community of support. The conversation touches on therapy for children, the difficult decision of moving a loved one to a care home, and the myth of overprotective parenting.
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
Oprah's Book Club
Connect with Kristina:
IG - @shesbravepodcast
FB - Kristina.driscoll.1
FB group
www.shesbravepodcast.com
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05:39 - Living in the present
07:35 - The Power of Now
12:24 - Open communication
18:01 - The Power of Community
20:20 - The importance of therapy
29:53 - Emotional Disconnect
33:06 - Embracing the Journey
39:47 - Takeaways
Takeaways:
- Life happens for us, not to us. Things are happening for a reason, and we’re here to learn and grow from the experience. Embrace the journey.
- Learn to live in the present. If you live too much in the past you're gonna get depressed because the past is gone. If you live in the future you get anxious because you're trying to predict what's going to happen, you're trying to control the outcome. The best time to live is in the now.
- It's easy to go to the top of a mountain and meditate for 10 days alone. The hardest spiritual thing to do is when you're a parent, when there's chaos all around you and you have to learn how to stay grounded and present. That is a true spiritual mastery. If you're not there yet, know that’s what you're working on - becoming a spiritual master.
- Let kids take the lead in finding out the information they need when they're ready for it. Just answer their questions and don’t over inform them by taking it 10 steps further down the line. Let them lead.
- Tap into the power of communities. It’s all about connection with others, and especially as moms we need the support of other moms, of people who have been where we are or are currently having the same challenges. In person or online, give and seek support.
- If you want to raise a strong, resilient child, allow them to step into a bigger role or try something new and challenging. That's saying to them "I believe in you. I think you can do this” and it gives them the confidence they need.
- One of the big myths about parenting today is that we have to provide our children a perfect childhood. We want to put them in a bubble where they'll never get hurt and nothing bad will ever happen. But by protecting them to that extent we do a disservice to them. It's the bad, hard things in life that make us stronger.
- If you want to emotionally connect with your children, show them all your emotions. When there’s hardship don’t be too stoic, trying to stay strong for their benefit. It’s ok to be sad in front of them, show your emotional side.
- If you don't have to work full time, if you can work part time, or just be a stay at home parent, do it! The time our kids are little and need us goes by super fast. If you want to do more workwise you have the rest of your life once they’re out of high school. Don’t care what other people think, embrace the journey and do what you feel is best.
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